Darwin Awards: To the people who remove themselves from the gene pool.

[Gamer_X]

Aah, yes, the Darwin Awards. I've finally got my hands on the first book of Darwin Awards. This stuff is so funny, you wouldn't want to believe that a lot of the content is true (well, the urban legends of course can't be proven true). It hurts (my sides) to read that people can be so stupid. Whoever said that it would be great if stupid people removed themselves from the world populace is certainly getting their wish; it's just not happening as fast the they would've hoped.:P

Anyways, I have a local Darwin Award honorable mention to post. It happened about a year ago. A woman was found trapped in her car trunk. She reported that a few local thugs carjacked her and put her into the trunk so she wouldn't get help. About a week later after the incident had been all over the local news, she confessed that she was doing something (can't remember what she said, either way she's a complete dumbass) in the trunk when the hood came down on her, locking her inside for several days.

"Why a honorable mention?", you ask. "She didn't die from her mistake." Well, my fellow forum members, she almost did. 1.) It was bitchin' cold outside that week, below freezing point as I remembered. 2.) She had no food, water, or anything to "release the demons" in (so gross). When she was found, she had to be hospitalized for severe hypothermia and a minor infection caused by wallowing in her own, ugh, hurts to say it. Any longer, and the dumb wench would have never had the chance to fool the news that she was a beautiful damsel in distress.

Anyone else have any Darwin stories to share?

[Doobie_Howser]

I heard one about a zookeeper in germany. There was a elepahant that was constipated so he fed it a bunch of figs and prunes, nothing happened. So after that he gave it what was described as a vegetable oil enema, as he was doing this the elephant.... yeah you guessed it, relieved itself as his hand was up its...well you get the picture. He was covered in elephant excrement and later died in hospital. :rollin:

[Tosser00]

Good lord. What an awful way to go.

[nobodyshome]

One guy was trying to commit suicide, so de decided to shoot himself, set himself on fire, drink poison, and hang himself off of a cliff. So he set him self on fire, and drank the pison then he jumped off and shot himself, but he missed shooting himself and shot through the rope, so he fell in the water, and that put out the fire, and the impact made him puke up the posion. He later died of hypotherma.

[everett102]

i read about a guy once who was trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train. eventually he got hit and it killed him.

[Gamer_X]

If it came down to religion, I wonder what St. Peter does when he meets these poor bastards at the Pearly Gates. -_-;;

wned:

[sparky5110]

I've read the elephant one, still funny. That suicide one is just plain stupid.

I read one about a boy in Peru, or some other country (I don't actually know where). Young people had found that putting bicycle pumps up their anus' and pushing it they get an instant high. So some stupid boy went one further, one night he snuck out and went to a petrol stationand got a pressurised tyre pump, he put it up his anus and because it comes out so fast the pressure exploded him! They found parts of him all over the city.

[tkann314]

This is some sick stuff...

[Gamer_X]

That last one is farkin' sick. @.@;;; Is that a confirmed story?