Sometimes, I'm a real tool

[Ryan H.]

My girlfriend works for Intel, and as part of the Performance Benchmarking and Competitive Analysis division, she is often sent to conferences and conventions as part of her duties.

This weekend, she is at Digital Life in New York. Before she left, she said some things that got that stupid, irrational, idiot little man inside me thinking stupid, stupid thoughts *those of you who have been in love know what I am talking about*

I stayed up ALL FREAKING NIGHT last night, until her plane got in this morning at 7am EST. I voiced these concerns, albeit apologetically and abjectly.

Her first thought was not like other women, which is that most other women get upset when unjustly accused of even implied infidelity. Her first thought was helping me understand why she was so vague *which was the problem* and apologizing for it. She called me repeatedly today, even though busy as FARK *jesus I hate this word censor, please make it stop* to tell me she loved me, to make sure I was alright.

Tonight, I wasn't supposed to hear from her all night. She was supposedly going out with friends from school. I can understand that, she went to school in NY, she hasn't been back in awhile. Instead, she called me, she stayed on the phone with me for hours, then went out with her friends for just a bit, got drunk *as we both do* and came home, whereupon she called me and told me how much she loved me, repeatedly, until she fell asleep.

I'm now playing Halo 2 while listening to her sleep, as we often do when one of us gets too toasted. More than the love I feel for her at this point, however, I feel guilt. Complete and utter guilt for ever doubting her. I KNOW she loves me, I KNOW she only has eyes for me, and yet I let some stupid, little insecurity and vague behavior almost come between me and the woman I would *all things being considered* prefer to spend my life with.

Why does that little jealously prick have to make his home inside our stupid little heads? Man, I feel so freaking stupid right now.

[Gabriel013]

Insecurity is one of the most bitch-assed part of humanity. All we can do is learn from it.

[farfus]

It is a drag i must admit, that jealousy thing. But whats neat is when youve been around someone long enough it pretty much is pushed down and doesnt show itself much anymore. If your able to be with her that long then thats possible with you, also. But it certainly never goes away completely...

[Mr. SunburnMan]

Originally posted by Ryan H.
My girlfriend works for Intel

Can she get me a job.

I'm not a very jealous man. I can't help you much on that front. I joke all the time that when she goes to her "classes" that I lend her to her second boyfriend.