Parental approach to raising kids, realist or deafeatist?

[Game Developer]

Thanksgiving night in Houston, some jackass gave his 14 year old daughter the keys to the family SUV so she could go out with friends. Of course she doesn't have a license so this is a horrible judgement call on the part of the father. She ended up wrapping it around a telephone pole and critically injuring herself and her two friends. The guy fessed up to giving her the keys, but there could be a chance that he's just covering up for it. So yeah, general consensus is that the guy is a mother f'ing idiot for doing something so stupid, and he has been charged with a crime, I forgot what.

Well, this guy who I listen to on the way to work in the morning is right-wing, and has a lot good to say, so I enjoy his show. But today he was talking about this, and likened this situation to a parent allowing his/her child to drink in a controlled environment. I don't see the parallel. I guess he was just trying to point out bad parenting techniques and such. Well, this really irked me, because my parents always allowed me and my friends to drink at the house on occasion. I told him that a super-strict approach to raising your child will likely result in rebellion. This has been clearly evidenced by all the rich little school girls who I knew in highschool. They were sluts and druggies and had midnight curfews. So he goes on to tell me that allowing your kid to drink in a controlled environment is a defeatist attitude towards it, and not a realist attitude.

What do you guys think? I'm for realist.

[Pocky Fiend]

I don't know about you, but I'd be really pissed if I found out that some other parent allowed my own child to drink alcohol without my consent or knowledge.

[Game Developer]

Well, I wouldn't be cool with that.. Let me rephrase. I'd be ok with letting my own child drink under my supervision and they would NEVER leave the house afterwards. I would never let other parents kids booze in front of me without their consent.

[Lefty Grove]

Can't really say I'm either. I'd have to use judgement to see how mature my kid is.

But I really don't know at this age.

[Mr. SunburnMan]

My dad gave me the right to drink, smoke and do drugs when I was 12 years old. It kinda went over my head at that time, but now I realize his reversed psychology won.

[Gabriel013]

My sister and I have been given free run to act and be treated like adults. I've always been allowed to drink and watch 18 rated movies because they trusted my judgement. They would not however allow us to do anything which could endanger anyone else.

The basic concept was:

Act like a sensible adult and you'd be treated like on.

Act like a child ie do things considered stupid and you'd be treated like a child.

I think this worked very well and is a technique I'd employ for my children.