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Years ago, when gaming was in the PSOne age, there came a game from Electronic Arts (EA) that revolutionized arcade style racing games. That game was called Need for Speed III: Hot Pursuit. Red Rock Ridge, Corvettes, and cops made this game rock. Since then, EA released mediocre titles such as Need for Speed: High Stakes, and Need for Speed: Porsche Unleashed. While NFS:HS offered the new feature of “be the cop†it still didn’t satisfy the gamers’ needs. Then again, NFS: Porsche Unleashed just plain sucked. Then, EA released Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2(NFS:HP2) for the PS2. This game was the follow up for its counterpart on the PSOne. The game was decent but it lacked the addictiveness of its predecessor. In November 2003, EA released the highly anticipated game, Need for Speed: Underground. (NFS:U) Some said NFS:U was going to revolutionize arcade racing games again.
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As you can probably now tell, you've said "game" far more than ever needed in a first paragraph...in fact you said it a total of ten times just there, not to mention the rest of the review. Using title or just simply a pronoun causes for a much smoother read. Also, if you ever actually want to have something published, describing how much portions of the game "suck" or "blow" isn't a good form of writing.
Also, using a more structured reviewing style is preferred (Intro, Graphics, Gameplay, Style, Control, Replay Value, Conclusion). This follows your scoring process and is easier to follow.
Overall, it isn't a bad review for a beginner and if it's something you actually want to do you'll need to practice. Reading a lot of other reviews can help in finding a structured pattern, and then you can add your own style to it.